DJAKARTA WAREHOUSE PROJECT 2013

OH MY GOD IT WAS THE  BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE
I JUST CANT DESCRIBE IT WITHOUT HAVING SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE, OR WANTING TO SCREAM OUT LOUD BECAUSE IT WAS AN AMAZING-EPIC-MASSIVE-AWESOME-BREATH TAKING EXPERIENCE.
oh look, the caps is on. 
ahahaaaa well first, i gotta tell u that it was friday the 13th. here's the story:
jam 3 sore gua sama mahen udah dirumah kinan terus kita istirahat, ganti baju etc etc and there was a heavy rain so kita baru bisa berangkat jam setengah 6. and the traffic was horrible, traffic jam EVERYWHERE, kita lewat tol dan baru sampe jam 8 wtf udah gitu we got the early entry tickets jadi karena telat kita mesti bayar jadi normal price, but it was totally worth it. kita nungguin dua orang kan tp karena mereka super duper late we decided buat masuk duluan. tapi itu udah jam 10 kurang dan ketinggalan madeon!! ah sebel :( kita nyasar nyasar dulu because there were 3 stages at the ecopark and we didn't understand the map, dan pas kita sampe di garuda stage madeon udah selesai!! HUHUHU martin solveig udah setengah gitu :( yaudah gapapa lah masih bisa liat solveig sebentar. AND THEN IT WAS ZEDD OH MY GOD I CANT BREATH and the rain falls hard so our clothes and hair are friggin wet but oh my god the euphoria, it was amazing. i got shivers down my spine over and over again not because of the cold air but because of the motherfucking euphoria and an overload happiness i just can't stop dancing. sebenernya ada beberapa kejadian lucu gitu disana, gua dikelilingin pasangan2 horny so i was like 'just get a room all of you' then there were fireworks! lots of them oh my god (i got shivers all over again just by remembering it lol) PECAHHH MEN abis itu jeda sebentar kan then ALESSO CAME OUT OH MY OH MYYYYY i'm singing and dancing and singing and dancing i just can't stop. i'm tired but i can't stop, idk why but it happens every time I'm raving. intinya alesso pecah banget dia nutup pake lagu if i lose my self OH MY GOD I CANT BREATH PARAH SERU BANGETTTT abis itu gua udah capek banget gakuat kita istirahat ke belakang deh sambil nungguin guetta berhubung gua kurang suka guetta jadi ya sudahlah sebenernya seru juga sih tp udah pada capek banget jadi ga seheboh yang sebelom sebelomnya dwp kelar sekitar jam 4 kurang terus kita pulang deh. thank you so much ismaya live for making it the best night of my life I LOVE YOU XX

The Benefit of Being Numb

it's december already, idk since when and why i became numb like this. some people say that is a bad thing because you can't feel a thing but actually i'm enjoying it (a lot). well of course i can't feel happy but at least i don't feel sad anymore. there's only tiredness, an inherent tiredness. I've tried to remember about thing that happened to me in the past couple of months, usually it made me sad but i just don't feel anything. and this week people said some harsh words to me, if I'm in a normal condition maybe i'll burst into tears or mock them with inappropriate words but instead i just stare at them blankly. to be honest i feel grateful because i don't care about anything anymore. its a really nice feeling you know. oh and by the way, its D-7 yay!! i'm soooo ready and soooo excited for dwp. oh my god i bet its gonna be epic, brace yourself cause its gonna be the best night of my life!!

4th november.

oh my god, what just happened? october's gone and its november already? um yea my birthday turned out to be not that sucks. i got 3 birthday cakes (well i didn't see it coming) october turned out great. but then comes november, who knew that i broke up so soon? i mean like, i didn't see it coming (or did i?) because we were just fine seriously, not even a fight. we were still hugging and everything on the night before. at first i was like "well okay then, i understand. it hurts a little but i'll get over it tomorrow" BUT THEEEN i saw him tweeting to a girl with a hug and kiss emoticon, like oh my god what the fuck what is that who is that slut what the fuck are you thinking you little bitch. we just broke up YESTERDAY how could you do this to me oh my fucking god i hate you go to hell i wish you were fucking dead like seriously, i won't shed a tear you are so not worth it. ugh fuck you and your bullshit. fuck you for saying you're sorry i dont need your fucking words

sucktember

i'm so damn glad that september's already gone so yea it's october and that means my birthday is near but um seriously i dont really care about that. because lately i gave a fuck about almost everything and that didn't turned out really good. you know what i mean? i care too much and no one even appreciate it and that's why my september sucks. can't you see that i was just trying to be a better person duh, since like no one really noticed i think i'll go back being that sarcastic person. and oh one more thing, higher expectation = higher dissapointments. and that's exactly what happened to me, i expect too much on a person that doesn't really gives a shit about what i want. well i never ask for gifts or anything like that, i'm just so tired of  listening without being heard. i mean like, i have feelings too. i know that you see me as a cold-hearted person, but that doesnt mean that you can do whatever you want you dumbass. maybe because of that douchebag, well he treated me like a princess, so i guess it makes sense that i'm hoping you would do the same, but since you didn't, i have to accept the fact that not everyone is like him. gosh i am so pissed off, why everyone is so busy and none of them trying to make time for me and on the contrary i always tried my best to make time for everyone, be there for everyone, but when i needed them they're just gone, its like they're swallowed by the earth. they didnt answer my calls, reply my text or anything. you dumb motherfuckers didnt realized how much i miss the old times, the old days, how much i miss 2012. because 2013 totally sucks. 

REDUSKRA 29 2013.

Jadi, ceritanya kemaren kita abis dari puncak untuk prom dan perpisahan. dan itu seru banget, pas prom  kita nonton film dokumenter yang berjudul, Catatan Akhir Sekolah SMAN 29 Jakarta klik aja linknya kalo mau liat. abis nonton tuh film gua jadi sedih banget banget mesti ninggalin mereka semua. karena 3 tahun itu bener2 best time i ever had. dari mulai kelas 10 disaat semuanya masih lengkap, kelas 11 kita study tour dan ada beberapa yang terpaksa keluar, sampe akhirnya kelas 12 kita ngelewatin segala macem ujian yang bener2 bikin stres. and at last sekarang kita udah lulus yeaay. gua bener2 bersyukur masuk 29, biarpun pas awal2 kelas 10 nyokap nyaranin pindah tapi gua gamau dan gua ga nyesel karena bisa ketemu sama mereka. makasih banget buat 3 tahunnya, itu unforgettable banget. makasih buat semua temen2 yang selalu ada disaat gua butuh, buat Imel Desta Sisi sahabat 3 tahun yang ngeselin tapi seru 'moa family bersatu' ahaha. buat GG yang semuanya gila dan ga pernah capek buat ngebully Nadhifa. buat Nabila chairmate kelas 10, buat Nina chairmate kelas 11 (btw congrats nina jadi lulusan terbaik :D) buat Nuke chairmate kelas 12 sekaligus sahabat dari kelas 10. buat tyo gendut yang selalu menghabiskan makanan ande dimanapun kita berada. buat Adri Billy basis telat daridulu gapernah berubah, buat semua orang yang pernah ande curhatin jangan bosen ya dengerin curhatan gua wkwk. makasih buat semuanyaaaa yang ga bisa disebutin satu satu karena terlalu banyak, selamat yang udah keterima PTN jangan lupain ande ya sering2 ke jakarta. buat yang belom keterima semangat ya buat SBMPTN nyaa good luck. may the odds be ever in your favor. I cant thankyou enough for the memories, the happiness, the sadness, for everything in the past 3 years. I love you to the moon and back.

17th April 2013.

Well its 17th april. 3rd day of national exam. and I dont know, I just feel...miserable, somehow. I just cant wait to get this over with. so I can play games all day and night to forget about everything. I guess being anti-social doesnt sound really bad, it keeps people from hurting you. I keep telling this to myself every single day: "there is no one that can free you from your misery except yourself. hold on to the things that makes you happy and let go to the things that dont. be grateful, stay positive. what goes around comes around. good things will happen to people who did good things and so does the opposite. smile, because you're alive." well it keeps me going. I just want to be happy and do the things I love. but why is it so hard? is that too much to ask? I want to have a good day(s), a good laugh with my good friends. okay, maybe I cant have it now but I'm sure I will have it someday. right now, I gotta fix this wall, because its too badly damaged, and it started to fall apart too quickly to fix. it seems like I have to accept the fact that things will never go back to the way it was. sucks huh? and yeah theres this person and I get attached, but if I stay it would be a history repeating and I dont want that. so..........I guess its clear. there's nothing left to say, then there's no reason to stay.

(if you dont understand what the hell am I talking about, its not because you are dumb. its because I dont want anyone to understand. I'm sorry. and if you dont mind, I really appreciate it if you wish me luck for the last day of national exam so I can graduate from my beloved high school.)

Things to do before I die.

Soooo I was thinking. Beberapa hal yang pingin gua lakuin sebelom gua meninggal nanti yang I hope masih bertahun tahun lagio:)
1. MESTI BANGET DATENG KE TOMORROWLAND!!!!! THAT IS A MUST. entah yang tahun keberapa pokoknya HARUS nonton. mau sendiri kek juga bodoamat yang penting nonton.
2. go on a bungee jumping or surfing. NAHHH ini salah satu hal yang paling gua mau. bungee jumping tuh bikin ngiler banget............sedangkan surfing? yah gua emg udah kepingin dari dulu soalnya kalo nonton film yang dipantai gitu kayaknya seru.
3. travelling dengan cara backpaking for at least once. gak mesti luar negri deh, lokal juga ga masalaah yang penting nyoba sekali.
4. MEET MY FAVOURITE ARTISTS, here's the list: 30 Seconds to Mars, David Guetta (Luckily, I've already met him), Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy (well, apparently music doesnt have an expiration date.), Avicii, Calvin Harris, Daft Punk, Skrillex, Armin Van Buuren, Hugo Leclercq, Porter Robinson, Zedd, Nicky Romero, Eminem, Angger Dimas, Swedish House Mafia (kyknya yang ini udah gabisa lagi deh huhu), Simple Plan, and of course Ellie Goulding. Long list isnt it?
5. Well at least salah satu lukisan karya gua bisa masuk ke sebuah pameran, aminnno:)
6. I wanna design my own wedding dress.
7. have a trip to Miami Beach, Bora-Bora, Beverly Hills. ketika sebagian cewek lebih tertarik untuk ke  Paris............gua ga minat-_-
8. Ikut ke sebuah kontes cosplay :3 pingin bangettt ke jepang terus ikutan cosplay. biarpun masih bingung mau jadi siapa wkwk
9. hmm yang ini agak ga mungkin ya, but i really wants to be a dj. because, you know, i really loves EDM so yeah being a dj sounds like fun.
And the last one, mungkin ini bisa lebih dibilang sebagai wish ya daripada things to do, semoga my beloved knzvmpr3 gabakalan pisah atau mecah gimana. bener bener udah srek banget sama merekaaaaaa huhu lafyu guys.
setelah diliat-liat, things to donya sampis semua dah-_- oke gapapa kok gapapa.........